My Big Fat Magical Wedding
by Witchangel
Summary: Harry and Hermione started seeing each other in 7th year and decided to live together in a house after Graduation. It is four years post that event and they have been invited to the Hogwarts School Reunion. What surprises can come from this? I dunno! You


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A/N: Hello! Witchangel here, reporting almost live from the computer in my bedroom! I have decided to start another story, since I can't seem to finish my last one (my apologies to any readers who were pissed at me for not posting chapter 9. I don't know if it will ever come around.) Anyway, this new fic is called 'My Big Fat Magical Wedding'. And just to clarify, this has nothing to do with the movie, 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding' because, sadly, I didn't see it. But that's OK! You know why? Because in the magical world, anything can happen! So sit back, put your seat belt on, relax, and read already!

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Warning: This story is strictly rated _R_ for sexual content so to all the little kiddies out there, please click the 'Back' button on your browser window now. The rest of you may continue to the Disclaimer.

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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters who may appear in any of the books one through five so go sue some who _has_ money. Now, for people who do not wish to sue me, you may read my story.

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My Big Fat Magical Wedding

Chapter 1: **Horseride to the Hogwarts School Reunion**

Hermione was busy applying the what-she-hoped-to-be the final coat of a Cherry-Pink colored lipstick. She was perfecting the edges of her lips when a voice spoke in her ear.

"Hello, beautiful."

Hermione, startled, gasped and threw the tube of lipstick in the air before it hit the bathroom floor with a _clatter_. Looking at the reflection in the mirror, she said,

"Harry! You CANNOT sneak up on me like that! You nearly scared the magic out of me! Ugh, now look what you've caused..."

A red-pink line was streaked from the corner of her mouth to the edge of her chin. Harry grinned and kissed her on her cheek and snaked his arms around her waist. Hermione smirked and said,

"Do I have to wait until you let go of me or will I force you into release?"

Harry tapped his cheek with his forefinger and pretended to think about it for some time.

"I think I will stay like this. You're so warm and comfy," he replied in a slight baby voice.

Hermione shrugged her shoulders and raised her eyebrows.

"Suit yourself!"

Hermione bent down as if trying to retrieve the tube of lipstick, which she did, but also causing the desired reaction in Harry's 'special place'. Harry immediately let go and raised both hands in an act to surrender.

"Alright!" he said, laughing. "You win."

Hermione began brushing her hair with great speed that rivaled the miles per hour on Harry's Quicksilver (**A/N: **the top-of-the-line broom of course).

"When I said release," she said, smiling, "I didn't necessarily mean release _me_. If you catch my drift."

Harry raised his eyebrows and ran his hand through his hair and said,

"Oh, I've got it, alright!"

"OK, then. We've got to get going. We have an hour to get to Hogwarts. And I am in no mood to Apparate. If you're too excited, it can affect your Apparition. There is a chance you may get splinched or redirected."

"Help me! I'm being attacked by Ms. Bookworm! Help!" Harry joked.

"Oh shut up!" Hermione snapped back at him as she stumbled out of the bathroom while trying to put on her heels, simultaneously.

"Oh, I hope I memorize the friggin speech I have to do! I have to give a _speech_ in front of 4 years worth of former Hogwarts students! Do you know how much that is?" Hermione rambled on.

"It's enough to confirm that we are definitely not Apparating!" Harry said quietly as he walked into their bedroom where Hermione was zipping up the back of her dark blue dress.

"You just have to give a hopefully brief overview about the History of Hogwarts, and surely no one knows it better than you, Hermione. You're going to do just _fine_," Harry assured her.

Hermione walked over to the bed and lifted up her powder blue dress robes. She had charmed the robes so they sparkled brilliantly in almost any light.

"Hmm," said Hermione as she inspected the blue material. "I never really though blue was my color."

She pulled out her wand and tapped the robes once and they instantly changed to a sparkling light purple-lavenderish color. Her lipstick also disappeared.

"That's more like it!" she exclaimed as she admired the new look. "Now, to fix everything else."

Hermione tapped herself on the head with her wand. Everything blue she had on instantly changed to the same shade, just in purple while Harry stood watching all of this in silence with his mouth hanging open a little.

"Is there anything you can't do?" he said, fascinated.

Hermione smiled at him as she lifted her pocket book and dropped the tube of lipstick in it. 'I know the brand is self-replinishable,' she thought, 'but I'm not ready to test that statement.' She glided over to where Harry was standing and traced her finger along his jawline. She narrowed her eyes halfway.

"I know I can't kill a Basilisk, win a Triwizard Tournament, or defeat the greatest-feared wizard in the History of Magic."

That seemed to close the case as Harry ginned lopsidedly and scratched his head.

"I guess nobody's perfect," Harry sighed falsely, "I'm going to have to find someone else to be my love, then."

Hermione laughed as she started to the front door of the house.

"Don't even think of it, Ha—"

Hermione was interrupted by the loud neighing of a horse outside. Her eyes widened and she _flung_ the door open to see two gleaming white horses, driven by a man in white robes. The horses were pulling a large, white, pumpkin-shaped carriage. Hermione gasped and, for the first time, seemed to be lost for words. Harry appeared behind her.

"Compliments of Albus Dumbeldore," he remarked cheekily.

"Oh, Harry! They're beautiful!" Hermione replied breathlessly as she half-ran to the front gate.

Harry followed her and opened the door to the pumpkin-carriage and said,

"Ladies first."

"You're just too much," Hermione giggled like she was 13 again and stepped into the carriage.

Harry closed the door behind him and the driver asked,

"Any questions before we leave, sir?"

"Um, yeah," replied Harry, "How long is the ride to Hogwarts?"

"About an hour, sir," came the answer.

'That certainly leaves a lot of time to kill,' thought Harry.

"Thanks."

"Anytime. Next stop, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!"

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A/N: So! What'dja think for the first chapter? Good? Bad? Excellent? OK? Horrible? I want your opinions so review please before leaving this page! Compliment, flame, advise, anything! Just review! It's good to hear from the good, bad, and the ugly (angry...not ugly in appearance...just to clarify so I don't wind up offending people) OK! Press the little purple button! You know you wanna! Aiight, y'all. I gotta go to bed now. It's 2:24AM... I don't even know why I'm still awake at this hour. See ya lata! ^.–

--- ~×*Witchangel*×~

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